allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
