And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
