y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
