Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
