He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
