u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
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Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
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I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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