you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
