i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
