Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
