HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
