I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Life is so much better after having sex.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
