So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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