I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
