Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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