butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
