I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
