My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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