Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
