What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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