I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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