OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
