umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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