it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
