I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
