idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
