I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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