had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
