No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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