I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
handjob tips. give me some.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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