He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
