My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
