This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
