So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
