wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
