I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Randomize
