This is not my ceiling
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
