okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
