My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
