Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate

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(772): View more from Florida

The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

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(207): View more from Maine

He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.

Fav 12 5083 1994
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.

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(718): View more from New York

Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.

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