Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The air was thick with penises
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize