we made out on top of his cat.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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