dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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