I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize