If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
