I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
