OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
