I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
