My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
