I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
