im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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