people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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