Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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