He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
