I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
