so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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