If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
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i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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