brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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