these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
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I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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