If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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