Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
