My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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