u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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